V-Day Rant

So...since Valentine's Day is very nearly over, I thought I would post some thoughts about this holiday that I received from a friend of mine. His wife was very careful to assure me that "he doesn't really hate society" which made me laugh even harder. I'll give the floor over to this, a most delightful rant against one of the fakest madeup holidays ever. Enjoy.

Subject: v-day

Valentine's Day is a contrived holiday, perpetuated by capitalists who seek to tap into the emotional voids created by modern materialism; it is fed by the continued false dichotomy of socially-constructed gender roles, whereby the female must be pursued by the male via arbitrary and essentially meaningless offerings such as candy and flowers. The popularity of greeting cards is a reflection of the modern human's inability to truly connect, on an emotional level, to either his/her own irrational feelings or another human being, as a result of our removal from the state of nature in which we evolved anthropologically.

What does a greeting card really communicate? It really says, "Hey, look, I have the ability to select an amusing and/or excessively sentimental message that I lack the creativity to invent on my own." Perhaps on a superficial level it serves to confirm a mating pair bond by subconsciously reaffirming the commonality of a sense of humor or the similar understanding of a vague notion of "love." Or perhaps, on a Darwinian level, it evokes the primitive need to believe your mate is capable of selecting appropriate and valuable findings in "the world" and bringing them home to the nest/den. So maybe it says, "Hey, look, I found a nifty card that you think is swell too. That means we're meant for each other and that I'm capable of caring for our mutual offspring and/or pets."

If you really wanted to be original, meaningful, and romantic, you should have bought me a chainsaw for Groundhog's Day. And I'll buy you a bag of caramels and a year's supply of visits to The Washtub on President's Day, and make an appointment with you to watch Good Will Hunting on VHS. Romance is a result of the seemingly-serendipitous but actually-planned intersection of randomness and genuine desire.

Feel free to share my enlightened state of being with your friends as we near this false and despicable so-called holiday. And good luck selling your $2 glitter-coated love wands, Cupid. *gag*

Clap clap clap!

Although I must admit that I very much enjoy the "essentially meaningless offerings such as candy and flowers." See Godiva post below. I enjoy these things, like the chocolate, even more when there's some meaning and a story to go with it. Sometimes I even save the box it comes in. I'm...sentimental that way.

*shy smile*